That's Phucked

Guys, Are You a Pull Outer or a Pull Downer?

In the guys bathroom you see two types of guy who stand at the urinal.

The Pull Outer
This is the guy who unzips their fly and pulls their penis through the convenient hole in their boxers through their unzipped pants.
This method is quick, easy and effective.
Only possible disadvantage could be the catching of the penis in the zipper causing untold pain and distress.  As yet no one has ever managed to accidently slice their penis off my zipping up too fast.


The Pull Downer
This guy unbuckles their belt and or pants and pulls their penis over their shorts whilst holding their pants up.
I find this method a little mystifying as it appears to be a great deal of additional work and effort, especially since you need to hold up your pants at the same time.
The only possible reason I can think of.  Is the guy’s penis is not long enough to fit through their boxer hole and pants.

Which guy are you?  and why?

Christian the Lion - Reunion

This is not "Phucked Up" but is pretty damned cute.

So these two people raised this lion cub they named Christian, and sadly he got too big for them to take care of so they decided to release him to live as a wild lion. Well, in this footage, a year has passed and it looks like Christian's adapted to living with a pride of lions when his old friends come back to visit him.

Christian is clearly very happy to see them and other members of the very wild pride even join them.

Very cool
 

John Mayer Provides Apple Tech Support for His Dad, Fails Miserably

John Mayor trying to walk his Dad through some Apple technical support.

Such classics as:
"Click on the naked lady"
"No Dad you cannot remotely unplug it"

The Web Site Availability and Forum

As you may have noticed, ThatsPhucked.com has been down several times last week.
Our host was unable to handle our traffic!

Over the weekend we switched to another provider and we shall see how they do!

In the meantime, the forum will temporarily not be available while that is upgraded too.

I would like to apologize to all our readers and the forum should be up again soon.

Mr. Phucked.

What to do when the husband comes home

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby
oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. Don't move until I tell you,"
she said, " pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband go t up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, have this.  I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."

Why Men Are Just Happier

  • Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
  • Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • Chocolate is just another snack.
  • You can never be pregnant.
  • You don't get cramps every month.
  • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  • You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • The world is your urinal.
  • You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • Same work, more pay.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental - $100.
  • People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
  • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  • One mood all the time.
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • Everything on your face stays its original color.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • You only have to shave your face and neck.
  • You can play with toys all your life.
  • One wallet and one color for all seasons.
  • You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  • You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
  • No wonder men are happier.

Jilted bride sues her ex-fiancé and receives $150,000

If ever you guys out there need a reason not to get married, this is it!

When Wayne Gibbs asked RoseMary Shell to marry him, he gave her a 2 carat diamond ring and she happily said yes.  Shell was living in Pensacola Florida at the time and decided to leave her $80k a year job to move to Gainesville to be with Wayne.

About a month after Shell moved in with Gibbs, however, Gibbs expressed second thoughts in a note he left in their bathroom: He wanted to postpone the wedding.

Gibbs and Shell stayed together a few more months before officially parting in March 2007. Shell chose to take legal action and sued three months later.

During the three-day trial, Shell testified that she had given up a good salary with benefits to move in with Gibbs. In her current job, in the accounting department at North Georgia College and State University, Shell is making $31,000 a year.

Gibbs testified that he took Shell on several skiing trips during their partnership, made house payments for her, and gave her $30,000 to pay off some of her credit-card debt. He claimed he got cold feet after learning she had even
more debt.
Shell has over $42,000 is overall credit card debt.

After hearing the case, a Hall County jury awarded Shell $150,000 on Wednesday.

As for her engagement ring,  Shell said she does not know the value — but she will try to sell it.

All I can say is, WHAT THE PHUCK!

Dude Scares People On The Street

Vaginal Tearing? Sloppy Vagina? Get an Episiotomy

OK all those married guys whose wife is expecting or if you've knocked up that slutty girl friend of yours.
Are you worried that her vagina could be loose after she gives birth?
Medical science has the answer, an Episiotomy.

What is an Episiotomy?
During labor, it is very common for women to experience vaginal tearing as the baby passes out of the vaginal opening. In order to prevent these vaginal tears from occurring, doctors will often perform an episiotomy. In this procedure, an incision is made in the perineum, which is the area between the vagina and the anus. This incision allows the vaginal opening to enlarge, thereby giving the baby more space to emerge from.

The procedure for an episiotomy is fairly simple: local anesthetic is applied to the perineum and an incision is made just before delivery. Following the birth of your baby and the delivery of the placenta, the incision is sutured shut with dissolvable stitches.

An Episiotomy also is thought to aid in tightening the vagina after birth and prevent vaginal stretching.

So there you have it guys. Get your girl an Episiotomy and sex after child birth won't be like sticking your dick into a wet bucket!
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