That's Phucked

Mr. Phucked's Turkey Dinner

The way a turkey dinner should be. The stuffing is my own secret recipe...

The Ultimate Dress, Continued...

Last week we featured the Ultimate Dress.  Here is another even better dress "down below"

Thanks to Mike for submitting this to Mr. Phucked

Submit your Video or Picture to Mr. Phucked 

Crapping At Work Survival Guide

In this follow up to the Farting In The Office Guide a while back.  We now give you the Crapping At Work Survival Guide:

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everybody else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
 
FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before doing a crap.
Walk in and check for other crappers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a...
 
FREQUENT FLYER
People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
 
ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a crap in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee.
It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
 
JAILBREAK
When forcing a crap, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
 
COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the crap hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the crap has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
 
WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
 
OUT OF THE CLOSET CRAPPER
A colleague who craps at work and is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet crapper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm.
Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet crapper before entering the bathroom.
 
THE CRAPPER NERDS NETWORK (CNN)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency craps go off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Crappers and identify SAFE HAVENS.
 
SAFE HAVENS
A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite gender. This will reduce the odds of a crapper of your gender entering the bathroom.
 
TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when having a crap at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
 
CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
 
ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the crapper can crap in peace.
 
WATERMELON
A big crap that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
 
HAVANA-OMELET
A case of the skitters that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough together with an Astaire.
 
UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to crap when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

Nose Phucker

One of our readers in the forum "BubblyStardust" posted this picture.

This could be a really good solution if you have a really bad cold and your sinuses are blocked!

Grandma, Part II

We featured the first shots of Grandma earlier this week.  It seems many of you were shocked as hell.
It turns that Ulmul in the Phucked Videos Forum has posted some more.  So here is more of Grandma!

Mr. Phucked Now On Twitter

You can now track what Mr. Phucked is doing on Twitter.
Follow me now, here!

Mr. Phucked on Twitter

You can also track what I'm doing with the Twitter widget on ThatsPhucked.com just above the favoite post section.

See you on there!

Mr. Phucked 

Poontos Pussy Mints

Does your girlfriend's pussy smell?
Want to go down on her without barfing in your throat?

Try Poontos Mints Today!

Your browser does not support Javascript. Please enable...

The Ultimate Dress

The ultimate dress of the 21st century.

Girl goes to the bathroom on the street, old man gets pissed off

This old guy really didn't like the slut peeing on the street.  I wonder why?

caught peeing and kicked by old man

www.ThatsPhucked.com - Adult Disclaimer

This site contains adult oriented material of a graphic and sexual nature, and may be objectionable to some persons. This material is intended for persons over 21 years of age, and may be against the law in some areas. If you are accessing this area from any location that deems this type of material to be illegal, you must not proceed.

You must agree with each of the below statements and indicate your comprehension and permission to abide by the laws that are applicable to you in your geographical location.

  • I am an adult, being of legal age, 21, in my legal jurisdiction to view adult oriented material that may be sexual or graphical in nature. (Local laws vary throughout the United States, so if you are not 100% sure of the laws applicable to you, you are advised to proceed no further.)


  • I will not redistribute this material to anyone for which it is illegal for them to view or possess such material, nor will I permit any minor, or any person who would find this personally offensive, to view this material.


  • I will hold harmless www.ThatsPhucked.com, its officers, ISP and employees, from and against any claims, liability, losses, costs, damages, or expenses (including attorney's fees) arising from my use of or participation in this service or the information contained therein. Furthermore, I will defend www.ThatsPhucked.com, against all claims of impropriety regarding my use of this service.