This Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as the Agreement) is entered into on the _____ day of __________, 2009, by _______________, between _____________ and ___________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over--unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM--we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit --only mind-blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions--Examples: Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance--that is why you are called the "back-up," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time, advanced-arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted--money is always good.
8. No baby talk--however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers--it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges"--we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK--don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing--I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex--it's over, so get your ass up and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it--I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style preferred--just hit it hard and right or get the hell out.
18. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. I don't want to look at you, just fuck you.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME--so don't keep calling.

*** EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS***

The aforementioned rules may be altered by the holder of the agreement.
If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list, BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating partners:
Signature: ______________________
Date: ______________________

How about some sex while hanging of a cliff?
Think it's real or green screen?

Thanks to Tom for submitting this to Mr. Phucked

Submit your Video or Picture to Mr. Phucked 

I know I have made fun of people from Craigslist before.  There are good catches out there (Shout out to Annik)

But many are sad, pathetic losers.  Who cannot even get laid in a whore house because they're too cheap to even pay for a real dating site.
Take Perseus for example.  This guy is looking for a cute and petit Asian girl who is into "cosplay, role-playing, anime and manga"

View The Ad From Persues

Since I'm Mr. Phucked, I sign up for all kinds of crap.  I had signed up to receive newsletters from a Yahoo group that like to swing.
They call themselves "SoCal Circus" and like to get together for swinger parties, orgies, gangbangs etc.
Here is their latest announcement...

"Hey there everybody!!! I am grinnin ear to ear at some wonderful news.
One of my absolute favorite couples got married TODAY sooooo
CONGRATS!!! They are very HOT, SEXXXY, FUN LOVING, EASY GOING,
ATTRACTIVE, and I am grateful that they are really good friends of
mine. They are coming out to tonight's ORGY PARTY to clelebrate their
marriage with us. I am soooooo stoked. This couple is a breath of fresh
air for me. It is awesome to see two wonderful people getting married
and I take it as a huge compliment that they want to celebrate with us.
It is AWESOME to celebrate life, the lifestyle, love, beauty, and
everything positive this world has to offer like this!!!

This HOT HOT HOT Couple Got Married Today And They're Coming Out To The
Socal Circus Party Tonight. They Want plenty Of Other Hot Couples And
Women To Celebrate With."

Now is that a wedding night or what!

You can check them out at SoCal Circus

Would you date this chick?  In fact, is she even a woman?  Think "she" might have a dick...

Father tried to sell his daughter for $16,000, 160 cases of beer and six cases of meat.
Ever wondered how much you can sell your daughter for?  Now you know...

I guess when you cannot find a second guy, a doll will do!

After the Got My Girlfriend to Model for My Car article.  Here is what I think are probably some of the ugliest wedding pictures I have seen! The bride looks like a human female pig with balding hair.  Her bridesmaids at least look human but larger than life for sure! Check out her wedding cake, it's actually made of twinkies!

Click the images below for the FULL FACE SHOT!

Thanks to Phill for introducing us to The Ugly Wife!

I'm sure many of you have tried online dating, but would it work in Muslim countries?
They cannot show their faces so how would you know if they were attractive or ugly?

Example Ad:
I like to take long walks on the beach and tease my date by allowing the wind to gently blow my burke (face covering) a little and maybe allow you a glimpse of my nose, maybe even a cheek.
Maybe after 2 years of dating, I'll show you my ear.
Email me, let's meet for a coffee, I'll bring my short straw...

GPS can be used to track cars, airplanes and even bombs, help you find your way home. But did you know that it can even keep tabs on your lovers?

A new high-tech lingerie set by Brazilian maker Lucia Lorio comes with a GPS tracker for insecure lovers, but Lorio says the technology could also conceivably enhance personal protection.

The lingerie set comes with a bikini bottom, fake pearl necklace and a see-through lace bodice. The GPS unit is embedded in the waist area of the bodice and constantly updates the wearer’s position through mobile phone networks.

Lorio’s GPS lingerie currently retails for approximately $785.

(Not Mr. Phucked)

I think public sex is probably a pretty popular fantasy and certainly one of my favorites.
In fact I acted it out again just this past weekend.

I'm laying out at the pool with a cute Asian girl I will call "M"
Over by the corner of the pool there is a little spot slightly hidden but still visible by anyone walking into the pool area.
I suggest to "M" that this would be a great place to have some public sex.
She laughs but is also a little intrigued...

There is just one person in the pool apart from us, another sexy little Asian girl but we figure she won't be able see us.

M and I head off to the spot that consists of a public shower area with a small seat off to the side.
I just drop my shorts immediately without regard to getting caught and sit down, she pulls her bikini bottoms to the side and sits on top of my hard, white cock and inside I go.
This is "M"'s first time with public sex and she likes it!
The cute Asian girl cannot see us so we're good, or at least so we thought...

After about only 4 minutes of this she has having trouble containing herself and wanted to scream "I'm gonna cum now!", I love it.
She jumps off and sits to the side, suddenly scared.  Beats me why.  Five seconds later we see another couple who just entered the pool walking towards the shower area.
"M" casually walks out and I quickly pull up my shorts and pretend to finish showering.

Was it woman's intuition that made "M" stop?  Who knows, but it was damned close!

We both return to our sun lounges smiling at each other, time to go? Oh yes!

Natalie Dylan is a 22-year-old virgin who is using the pseudo name Natalie Dylan for safety reasons is auctioning her virginity to the highest bidder.
She announced her decision to sell her "cherry" on the Howard Stern radio show on Sept. 9.

So far hundreds of offers have already bid up to $275,000.  Supposedly there is also a “rock star” and a “well-known male actor” who said they would outbid any other offer.
The Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada will host this "once in a lifetime" event!

Natalie Dylan says she is not just doing this for money, she apparently really wants to like the guy.
Personally I think that is BS, she is just phucking whoever pays the most.  Natalie Dylan is a hooker, simple as that.

Good luck to her, I hope there is not too much blood! 

Alexi, Ahhh, Sexy Alexi.  This boy is amazing in bed, absolutely shockingly awesome. Considering his lack of experience (which only includes two other girls, whom were both virgins.) We had been dating, and were arguing a lot. I told him he was acting different towards his friends, and that I didn't like being the cause of that. I told him it wasn't working, and ended it. He came running after me as I walked back to my car, he grabbed me by the arm. We talked about it and discussed it, and decided things could work out.
I headed to a party with Laiho, "Cute but Slow", Screamer, and Screamers band mate 'Rhythm' (rhythm guitarist for the band).  All the people that they lived with were there, already pretty drunk. I'm trying to get a game of Halo 2 started and keep wandering back and forth between the living room and Cute but Slows room. I walk into the room to see Screamer on the bed, in his socks. I'm not afraid of feet so I scoop one up and start rubbing it. I do this for a while and then, “Hey aren't you dating Alexi?” he asked me. "Naw we broke up earlier today. " I say and shrug. A few minutes later I am offered a back rub from Rhythm. " I'm down! " ( I'm a sucker for back rubs.) I smooth my skirt down while I stretch out on my tummy, Laiho on one side, Screamer on the other and Rhythm just to my side rubbing my back and doing a great job. I start dreaming for a minute and decide to just relax and enjoy it. Eventually I and Laiho start wrestling, he gets that way when he drinks. He literally picks me up and throws me onto the bed, where I tumble into Screamer, who is pretty wasted by now and pulls me into his lap and cuddles me. I raise an eyebrow at Liaho. Rhythm gives up on the back rub and leaves, Cute but Slow was arguing with his sister in the living room. Laiho smiles, nods and stands up, “Should I lock the door?” he mouths to me. I nod and continue wrestling and messing around with Screamer.  His brunette hair straight to his lower back. Huge crystal blue eyes. Tall, broad shouldered and built. He pins me on the bed and we start making out, almost having sex. My shirt and bra on the floor, his pants are undone, shirt pushed up high on his chest. “This is Rhythms bed. “ he complained, " He has to sleep here tonight. " I sigh and roll over, pulling my bra to me and clasping it back in place. “My house then?” he nods and we dress and then drive over to my house, a few miles over the bridge. I slip into my room and we lay down, talking a bit, turning music on and then getting right back to where we started.
He pulls me on top and I start to really enjoy myself when he looks up at says, " Not bad for a virgin huh?” I almost died. I stopped moving and asked, " What? " and he laughed and pushed up into me again, trying to inspire me to keep going although all it does is grind his huge dick against my insides and makes me groan a little.
"You're not a virgin.?" I replied shaking my head determinedly and moving a little, trying to regain my composure.
"Yes I am, didn't you know? " he asks and I reach over grabbing my cell phone. " There's no way. " I reply sternly and dial Laiho's number. He answers on the second try. "What! " he sounds tired, it's only 3 am. “Is Screamer a virgin?”, hearing me talk about him, screamer pushes up once more and laughs at the whole situation. “Yeah, everybody knows he's a virgin. You didn't know he was a virgin? " Laiho asks starting to get angry with me. " Not any more he's not! " I said just as angrily back and hung up.
I shrug my shoulders and finish with Screamer. " Told you I was a virgin. " he says. I snuggled closer to his shoulder and lay my head on his chest, pulling the blanket over me, "You're effing crazy. "I close my eyes and think over and over again, why would he lose it to me?

The next day I break up with Alexi. I didn't tell him about my cheating, I just make sure that we're not together anymore, and I make sure that I and the lead singer of my favorite local metal band Screamer are together. Alexi comes to me one night while I'm visiting Crazy Goth Girl and Screamer and demands to speak with me.  He claims he just found out I cheated on him with "The Blackness" also.  Damn, I can't handle the look in his eyes, intense and broken. I walk away. I just walk down the street and leave them all behind.  I bounced to Laiho's house and soon after I began to explain what was going on.  Alexi came by looking devastated. He tried talking but I was busy smoking and slightly ignoring him. Finally he turned and walked away. I finished my cigarette, thanked Laiho and ran to catch up with Alexi. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him back to me, " Let's talk" I said and we chatted Idly on a bench for a while, I was texting the blackness, and he pulled up in his convertible and told us to both get in. We grudgingly did and with a few minutes of being fully honest with each other we were all back to laughing and talking and ended back at my house. I hooked up with the blackness one more time and decided that the odds between when it was good and when it was bad were stacking up to the latter. I climbed on top of my Alexi and orgasmed like only he can make me. We talked and discussed what I wanted. I had already taken Screamers virginity, unknowingly. But now I had a clingy virgin stuck to me like emotional glue. I told Alexi I wanted him back, I wanted him to wait for me to get Screamer off my case without mentally scarring him and then we could be back together. This worked for about a week and a half.
A week of awesome sex and orgasmic bliss continued.
Liaho found out that I had been cheating on Screamer for the whole time and demanded I tell him. We drove up there and told him and broke up with him. He took it pretty well and said he wishes things could have been different but didn't expect anything less considering he was the third party to begin with. I spent the next week being single. I had them both in the palm of my hand but can't say I wasn't enjoying it. A few parties go by with me, Screamer, and Alexi in the same place, with alcohol, and the drama rises and finally boils over. I take a good hard look at my life and make my decision. I go to Alexi's and talk to him and we decide to try the whole dating thing once more...

OK Guys, thinking about your next vacation?
Want to be guaranteed sex whilst on vacation?
Let me tell you about my trip to Thailand, specifically PhuKet…

Phuket is small town by the ocean, great beaches, nice hotels, cheap food and a slut buffet.
Venturing out at night to the clubs and bars you will find them full of woman willing to do anything and entice you to take them home.
Some are local girls looking for a good time and many are hookers selling a good time.  I found the following:

- Bunch of 4-5 girls all dressed as school girls (All willing to go home together)
- Bunch of nurses
- Bunch of cheerleaders
- Lots of single girls alone and many with “friends” who can join them

In other words, a pervert’s paradise!

If you’re looking for a local, simply buying them a nice dinner ($10) will get them home with you.
If you want them even faster the local hookers will go home for $20 the whole night!
Want two at the same time?  $50 and anything goes!

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the famous Thai massage parlors...