I sometimes check out the reaction videos to That's Phucked on YouTube.
Currently there are 48 videos of people watching videos on this site and recording their reactions to them.
Check them out here

But my favorite was one recorded by "sparklebooger"
She has a cute Pomeranian dog which is the same breed as my friend's dog but most of all, she is VERY sexy and can you say perfect breasts?

I found a link to this internet TV show I did voice over work for when I first came back to LA. And by voice over work, I mean made a bunch of sex noises into the video. You can hear me in the giant orgy scene -- I'm the one with the somewhat whiny high-pitch... and you can hear me again in the climax scene (when the girl's foot shoots up on the table and starts convulsing -- that's me!).

From a Hungarian guy I went on a date with a month and a half ago. This email was sent to me on August 3rd, which I had totally forgotten about till now:

Over the weekend, I did a test.  Very scientific of course!
My friend has this cute little puppy.  I have a 2 seat convertible sports car. 
So which one will get me the most numbers in any given hour?
I borrowed her dog and headed over to a local StarBucks by the beach.  Parked my car away from the coffee shop and walked over with my puppy.  Grabbed a coffee and sat outside.
The one hour test begins...
After 3 minutes, hot blonde walks up asks about the puppy, we chat for a few minutes then she meets her boyfriend, bummer.
Further 2 minutes, 3 teenage girls, sexy but not legal.
Another 5 minutes, hot brunette, comes over with her puppy, perfect.  After a few minutes of chatting she asks to join me, score.  We chat for about 20 minutes, she has to leave to a meet a friend but not before she gives me her number.
15 minutes past and 1 number so far, not bad.
Next 45, pretty slow.
Down to the last 15 minutes and we have a hot mom and daughter.  The mother is around 35 and sexy as hell.  I'm having MILF fantasies here.  They chat to me about the puppy because she wants to get her daughter a puppy.  Daughter goes inside to get coffee, I flirt with the mother outside.  She is VERY flirty, love this shit!
Before the daughter returns, she slips me her number under my coffee cup.
1 hour, 1 puppy, 2 numbers.  Pretty good I think.
So I return to the car, drive over to my friends place and return the puppy.
I drive over to a different coffee shop and park opposite the seats outside.
Everyone outside can see the car.  I go in, grab a coffee and sit outside for 5 minutes.  No girls approach.
I decide then to stand against my car, drinking the coffee, pretending I'm waiting for someone.
30 minutes pass, bored, no attention, few smiles, but no girls approach.  Once guy chatted to me about the color, not good!
Then I take the top down, site inside the car for 15 minutes, again, nothing.  I then decide to cruise down the beach for the last 15 minutes, lots of stares, no numbers.
 
Conclusion
If you want phone numbers, save your money on the car and buy a puppy and work on your puppy communication skills.
The car might help to get you laid on a date, but to get the date, a puppy can help!

You're Young?  You're Horny?  You want an easy lay?
You need a Cougar and here is how to get yours today!

 

 

Now we know...

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby
oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. Don't move until I tell you,"
she said, " pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband go t up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, have this.  I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."

If ever you guys out there need a reason not to get married, this is it!

When Wayne Gibbs asked RoseMary Shell to marry him, he gave her a 2 carat diamond ring and she happily said yes.  Shell was living in Pensacola Florida at the time and decided to leave her $80k a year job to move to Gainesville to be with Wayne.

About a month after Shell moved in with Gibbs, however, Gibbs expressed second thoughts in a note he left in their bathroom: He wanted to postpone the wedding.

Gibbs and Shell stayed together a few more months before officially parting in March 2007. Shell chose to take legal action and sued three months later.

During the three-day trial, Shell testified that she had given up a good salary with benefits to move in with Gibbs. In her current job, in the accounting department at North Georgia College and State University, Shell is making $31,000 a year.

Gibbs testified that he took Shell on several skiing trips during their partnership, made house payments for her, and gave her $30,000 to pay off some of her credit-card debt. He claimed he got cold feet after learning she had even
more debt.
Shell has over $42,000 is overall credit card debt.

After hearing the case, a Hall County jury awarded Shell $150,000 on Wednesday.

As for her engagement ring,  Shell said she does not know the value — but she will try to sell it.

All I can say is, WHAT THE PHUCK!

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.
So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained.
"I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked,
"Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes !," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did."
"Why do you ask?"
 
"She just died and left me everything."

R.I.P.
My Metal Head Ex Boyfriends Dick.
May he go on to other places, and
Fuck other vagina's, and
Find many many orgasms.

A sad sad day indeed. The day I have to tell the tale of such great remorse. I absolutely loved having my ex boyfriend back in my life, just as friends. Though who would I have been to complain when our friendship developed into a casual fuck buddy situation? A greedy bitch is who I would have been, but in fact, I was quite happy. I could go to his house, hang out, talk with someone who was incredibly knowledgeable about Metal, and music in general, mess around, fuck, sometimes stay the night, and leave in the morning happier than ever. It was like having a boyfriend without the fights, or the drama, or commitment... OK so it was basically the perfect situation. It's quite saddening to come now, to the horrible news. Just recently I had stayed at his place, and the morning when he drove me home, after we grabbed some breakfast at jack in the box ( Didn't I tell you it was perfect? A fuck and some food? ) and he informed me that he would be going to visit a girl he had been talking to on-line for quite a while, and who lives a few hours away. *shrug* Whatever, fuck her, don't get anything, come back and keep fucking me. Is all I could really conjure up for much of caring. Though, When he returned, I noticed something different the first time I saw him. You've got to be kidding. They were totally fucking DATING. Even more sadly, He is not the type easily swayed to cheat, and especially not with me, whom he's seen do it to others many times before over the years. Hence, the depressing recantation of our sexual history.

Your Virginity
One of three that I've taken, It's half somewhere on a couch that I heard my parents gave to some friends of ours a few years ago, and half on my bed. I'm sure The Prudent Chick, totally remembers you losing it behind her while she surfed the net on my comp with her back to us. You were damn good for your first time.

Your Mom
Totally walked in on us having sex, and though both of us remember it different ways, it happened, and now I can laugh my ass off at your mom seeing me naked. Though I'm not sure if I could ever look her in the face.

Skinny Dipping
Will almost inevitably lead to sex. As it did with us the very first time we hung out after the break up and that long period of time where I was in la la land on Prozac. Sorry that your ex girlfriend found stains on your sheets, but the bitch hates me and I just think that whole situation was funny. Pinning me against the wall was awesome, I could barely walk afterwords.

A Kind of Threesome?
When you and the Stoner Girl/Drunk Girl stayed at my house, I expected a lot to happen. Unfortunately, she wouldn't for the life of her, pound drinks as she had the night of the amazing five some. She was probably a little buzzed when I crawled on top, making out with her and rubbing my hand against her. You taking my from behind while I did that, and eventually eating her out was just a plus.

Another Kind of Threesome?
Did you have to compare cock sizes with your Black room mate? You are awful! How could you rope me into something you know I don't do! Dark meat is a no no! Ugh, and I was so fucking sore afterwords that I couldn't even sleep with you to console myself.

A Finally Good Bye
The last time we had sex before your cock was zippered up and hidden away until your relationship is over, and you're over her, was pretty damn good. Though, I have to say, so was the breakfast at J in the B and the Dr. Pepper.

All in all, Thanks for all the awesome sex, and the great Cd's you let me burn. I will still hang out with you, I guess, because you throw awesome parties with lots of really hot drunk guys, and because you're still my friend, but it won't be the same without fucking you afterwords. Oh and by the way, no girl likes to hear about sex with the girl she lost you too! I don't care how open and chill I am, I so didn't want to hear that she called you the energizer bunny. Gross. I dub thee, Excalibur. Much better of a nick name than, Energizer bunny.

1. Oral Sex is illegal in 18 states
   
2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on
   
3. It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon, to talk dirty during intercourse
   
4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia
   
5. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC
   
6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm
   
7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth
   
8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida
   
9. It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65
   
10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds

Some of these make sense.  But is there any reader out there who has not yet broken the law?

Me?  Off to jail I go...

Women on the internet

There seems to be a direct relationship between how easily a girl on the internet will meet a guy and how ugly / fat she is. The last girl I went to go meet out was so fat and hideous that I didn't even stop my car when I realized it was her. I may have dented my car and killed her but I definitely wasn't going to brake for that whale.

Older women at bars

If I realized how easy it is to bag Milfs when I was younger I would've been up to my eyelids in wrinkled vagina (and probably herpes) when I was 17. But I'm not 17 anymore and not horny enough to designate 5 minutes to responding to your old drunk ass. Go away. Go back to your husband and your kids. You're embarrassing yourself. Don't let the horny old drunk guys who have no game thwart you otherwise.