That's Phucked

I Hate My Penis Part 2

More penis abuse with cigarettes, rope and another piece of "wood"
I Hate My Penis Part 2

Fred Phelps Is Dead

In celebration of Fred Phelps now being dead. If you're not sure who Fred Phelps is, he is the guy who instigates protests at gay peoples funeral and war vets.

fred phelps dead

Asshole Stretching

This has to be one of the strangest contraptions I've seen for a while.
Looks a little like a cow udder.

Asshole Stretching
Asshole Stretching

Big cow udder...

Chinese Baby Flushed Down Toilet

Want to know what happens after a baby comes out of either this vagina or this vagina?
Flushed down the toilet maybe?

But seriously, here is the back story.

Zhejiang province, China

A newborn Chinese baby was rescued from a toilet pipe after he was flushed away by his parents.

Chinese firefighters found the tiny boy lodged in a sewage pipe below a squat toilet in an apartment building in Jinhua, Zhejiang province. His placenta was still attached!!
Firefighters pulled him out of a 3 inch sewer pipe after neighbors reported a baby crying.

Police are treating the case as an attempted homicide and are looking for the mother and anyone else involved in the incident.

That's Phucked Exclusive - We Have Snooki's Baby Pic

News that even TMZ cannot get.  The real Snookie Exclusive!

Thats Phucked Exclusive - We Have Snookis Baby Pic

Miami Zombie Attack

I'm sure all you phuckers have heard of the Miami Zombie Attack where one guy bit off the face of some homeless guy (Ronald Poppo)?
The below video and pictures show a surveillance camera on the Miami Herald building of the Miami Zombie attack on the MacArthur Causeway.
Rudy Eugene strips Ronald Poppo of his pants and shoes and starts to eat his face. An unsuspecting cyclist calls the police who eventualy shoot Eugene dead.

Enjoy the pics and video of the Miami Zombie Attack

Miami Zombie Attack

Miami Zombie Attack 2

Miami Zombie Attack 3

Split Cock

I'll say again.  Why would any guy do this?
They must just hate their penis!

Check out more Split Cock Articles

Split Cock

Guy that hasn't pooped in the month of August...

Part I

My last bowel movement was July 29th, for the last 10 days I have limited myself to one bowl of cereal a day, b/c the bloating is just too painful. I have gained 11 pounds during this entire ordeal. I've tried everything from coffee enemas to stretching. Nothing has worked. My doctor now has me on 4 different medications and I am about to do 2 different types of Enemas. He swears I shall see something pass today.

For the first time in a long while I do actually feel something going on in my lower stomach. My doctor warned, with extreme constipation of this sort, I may actually rip my anus from the impacted poop. This has forced me to take muscle relaxers and actually have to apply Vaseline to my anus twice a day.

I will keep you updated, and for you Reddit, if I release this beast, I promise to take pictures. That is if you want me to. My doctor guesses this will weigh close to 6 pounds! So buckle up and pray for my butthole.

This is the first time this has happened to me. I've gone 7 days before, but nothing like this. around day 18-20 I had to lay in bed and not move b/c the feces was causing cramps. I've had night sweats for the last week. It's gone to far, today I dont care if I rip my anus, I'm going to go to the damn bathroom!

Edit: Off to take enema numero uno, I'll be back in 10 minutes!

Off to take enema number 2, I'll be back to 15 mins. I'll also take stomach bloat pic as requested

This prob does look like much, but I'm 6'3 and weigh 175, and have to lean forward to see my toes 

Edit: guys my girlfriend has been reading your comments and thinks we need to go to another doctor, I'm kinda concerned reading your comments regarding anal tearing and his lack of attention to it. Going to go to a 24 hour clinic, I'll report back when I get home. It's cramping again and I can barely stand up. Thanks for your support. Meanwhile you have my girlfriend rather worried about our doctor of 3 years

Edit: Final update for a while guys. I'm posting this from the hospital. There are doctors and nurses wearing what looks like very expendable clothing. The doctor tells me there will be a manual retrieval that should have happened days ago. I know that you guys aren't the praying type but I need some sort of God on my side right now. I'd say that I'm scared shitless and I think that's a pretty accurate statement. Updates as soon as humanly possible. Reddit, I'm scared now.

12:01 CST Update - Sorry I fell off the face of the earth earlier. I went in to the hospital and had a rather unpleasant experience. They gave me a drug called 'golytely' and some other mild sedatives that basically allowed my ass to loosen up enough to where a nurse(male) could get his claw mouse grip into my asshole(Manual Disimpaction) and rip out what felt like a sword. In reality, the clog was about twice the size of a golfball. I really did ask if I could take a picture of it, but they just laughed it off and took it away. On a bright note, I asked if that was all that was coming. He laughed and said I was in for a grand finale after my next enema. I am too exhausted to even thinking about taking on that chore tonight. Me and my asshole are currently not on speaking terms. It's sore and feels violated. No lacerations, but very, very sore. Tomorrow is the day Reddit, tomorrow is the day. For your support all day and advice to go to the damn hospital, you shall be rewarded with countless pictures.

Part II

First and foremost I would like to thank the community of Reddit for talking me into going to the hospital and getting the cork out of me. There are a few milestones in life, but finally ridding myself of weeks of shit was a glorious personal achievement.

The immediate relief after releasing what sounded like Voldemort being killed was orgasmic.

The response was overwhelming. Last night was I guess as easy as it could have gone despite having to go the hospital. Although that wretched concoction I drank was inside of me through out the night, I believe that this morning it assisted in unleashing the Kraken.

It was a battle but your OP fought the good fight. It was mostly liquid that came out, and despite the courtesy flushes I did manage to snag some pictures of... a collection. The weight being 1.72 pounds doesn't sound as impressive as of what you might of being hoping for, but I can assure you over 2 lbs were liquid and unable to be retrieved. I expect to have to make visits to the bathroom throughout the rest of the day.

I hope you can appreciate the process of what it was like, fishing for my shit in a toilet and putting it into a bowl and weighing it. I threw up in my mouth and lost my appetite for the day. I did it for you, Reddit. You had a hand in this.

I am actually have a celebratory post-passing of the feces party tonight and I will attach a video of the turd hanging out with us.

I'll be around for about an hour or so but I suspect the girlfriend will make me get off the computer for some rest. Feel free to Ask me Anything about the process.

Warning: It's pictures of poop in a bowl.

Guy that hasn't pooped in the month of August...

Guy that hasn't pooped in the month of August...

Refer to our article on how to how to lay and measure your poo

View Original Article Here


Fucked up beyond all recognition (FUBAR)

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