That's Phucked

Worst. Email. EVER.

I am a reasonably good looking guy who is looking, simply,  for an  experience with a younger woman.  Please allow me a moment to expand...
 
I am 38 and have a daughter who is 18.  I only found out 2 years ago, I had this daughter.  Her mother passed away and she lives with her Grandparents back in my homtown. 
 
My daughter has grown into a beautiful, tall, exceptionally attractive young woman.  She looks, sounds and acts exactly like her mother whom I dated briefly many years ago.
 
I find myself drawn to her in a way that a father should not be drawn.  My fantasy is to have a Daddy/daughter experience.  Not a rape fantasy, quite he opposite.  A loving, teaching experience where my little girl seeks me to teach her about the intimate loved shared between a man and a woman.
 
I do not know if this is something your are willing to consider, let alone do.  I'll leave it to your discretion.
 
I hope to hear from you...
 
Sincerely,
 
Larry

Annik hooks up with Naval Officer; never wants to have sex again

I suppose even with someone who is as sexually experienced as me, there is still a first time for everything.

One night, I had the hot idea of inviting this gorgeous Naval Officer up that I had met in San Diego for a night with me, and he agreed to come up.

When we start fooling around, he was the first one to dive into foreplay. I'm on my hands and knees while he's going down on me and at some point or another, decides to stick his fingers inside. I end up on my backside and about twenty minutes into it, he's still fingering me but at some point he had slipped in an extra finger. I LOVE being fingered as that is the easiest way to get me to climax and he had just the right hands for it. So about another ten minutes go by and I have my 5th orgasm (not joking) and he has managed to slip an extra one in there.

As time went on, my screams got louder and eventually went from being screams of joy to screams of pain without my realizing it. I finally thought, "This really isn't normal for me to be screaming like this." Even HE was trying to get me to shut up. I look down and I don't see any free fingers, so of course I have to ask.

"Dude, what are you doing?"
"What? Ah've got muh entar fist in thar!" (he's from the South)
"WHAT? NO NO NO NO NO! STOP!"

He withdraws, continues going down on me, then REINSERTS four fingers back into my birth canal.

"HEY!"
"Oh, that's so hot, baby. You know you want this."
"NO NO NO NO, I DON'T WANT THIS!"

And in between the "no no noes," I manage to climax again as he had reinserted his thumb in between my fleshy walls and his inner palm. He went deeper.

"OH MY GOD, STOP."

I was freaked out. I had never been fisted before.

"You sure you want me to stop? You sound jes' like yer enjoyin' it!"
"STOP, JUST STOP. OH MY GOD."
"Well, awright."

We finish our foreplay and get to the dickin' (which was actually quite delightful as I came about another three times). After we're finished, I had to ask him.

"So, how far in did you get?"
"Oh, about this far."

He makes an elongated left fist and demonstrates how far in by cupping his right hand just a half inch above his left wrist.

I was in pain for many days after that.

RE: Elder Porn, What The Fuck?

Mr. Phucked's post on Elder Porn reminded me of something I read on Best of Craigslist:

Found: One large bag of "Granny Porn" DVDs

Dude (well, I assume you're a dude), what the hell is your problem? You left a huge bag full of Granny porn on the sidewalk in Carlsbad. I can only assume this was deliberate. It's not like you're walking the streets with five pounds of porn DVDs, get home, and realize "damn, I must have accidentally dropped all my porn somewhere".

Come on man, what's wrong with you? Some kid could have found this stuff. I won't lecture you about the general moral obligation to properly dispose of porn. For a guy whose collection includes volumes 1-8 of "Deep Throat Grannies", I doubt the term "moral obligation" is a part of your regular vocabulary. I'm sure you're also the kind of guy who dumps his used motor oil down the sink.

Seriously though, do you want some kid finding this stuff, popping it into his Mouseketeers DVD player and seeing his nana taking on more cocks than she has holes? Yeah, I'm sure that won't cause any latent problems as the kid grows up and tries to nurture normal relationships with women.

Anyway, I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy and this content is just a little too mature for my pallet. If anyone is into this stuff and wants the DVDs, hit me up with an email. Maybe one of you girls on a budget would like to pick up something thoughtful for your man (Valentine’s Day is just around the corner). There's something like 200 hours worth of (mostly) Granny porn here. Oh, and if you look like Macaulay Culkin I'll need to see some ID.

By the way, I'm keeping one DVD called "Bangkok Boobarella". Hey, even we meat and potatoes guys occasionally want a little port-wine reduction.

Jeez, Grammy! Say it ain't so!

Elder Porn, What The Phuck?

Shigeo Tokud

The Japanese seem to have an art for some phucked up shit.  Just take a look at 2 girls 1 finger video if you need some evidence.
I guess after watching 2 girls 1 finger that it is not too surprising that the Japanese have a new booming sex industry, Elder Porn!

Shigeo Tokud (pictured) is 74 years old and one of many ever growing elder porn stars.  He has appeared in over 350 films in the past 14 years.
He specializes in "older-men-and-daughters-in-law" series of films with such hits as Maniac Training of Lolita's, in December 2004 and Forbidden Elderly Care in August 2006.

With the ever increasing amount of elder residents in Japan, industry experts expect this segment to grow.  Already about 300 of the 1000 films produced by Shigeo's distributer are "mature women" films.

17 Teen Girls Get Pregnant Deliberately

teen girl pregnant What the Phuck is going on in High Schools in Boston?
17 teenage school girls, many less than 16 years of age have become pregnant in a "pregnancy pact"
They have entered into a pact to have their babies together over the year.

"Some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Gloucester High School principal Joseph Sullivan told Time magazine.

Local officials said at least some of the men involved in the pregnancies were in their mid-20s, including one man who appeared to be homeless. Others were boys in the school.

What are these girls thinking?  It will be fun to have baby as a teenage girl?
The men in their 20s will probably end up with statutory rape charges and they will ALL end up paying for the next 18 years with child support! 

Guys.  If you ever need a reason to ALWAYS wear a rubber, this is it!

This is for sure the most Phucked Up article of the week!

When Logos Don't Go As Planned

 
They repair just computers?


Kids Exchange or Kid Sex Change?  Either way, not good!

 
I called them up.  Misleading advertising, there is no sex position training!

US Marine Expelled for Throwing Puppy Off Cliff

david motari In march of this year we showed the now infamous video of a US Marine Throwing a Puppy Off Cliff

The video clearly shows two Marines joking before one hurls the puppy off a cliff.
A yelping sound is heard as the puppy flies through the air.

Marine Corps Base Hawaii said in a news release Wednesday that Lance Cpl. David Motari received unspecified "non-judicial punishment" and "is being processed for separation" from the Marine Corps.

The second Marine, Sgt. Crismarvin Banez Encarnacion, also received unspecified "non-judicial" punishment.

Discuss in forum

The Ultimate Dating Site

As most of the ThatsPhucked readers probably know.  I have dabbled in on-line dating.
You can read about some of my experiences here in the forum.

I think I may have just discovered the Ultimate Dating Site.
Having just been on several dates with one of my matches, I really think I may have found "The One"
Could Mr. Phucked finally be in love?

Find True Love 

 

The 8 Signs You May Be Gay

If you are still confused after this.  You can try the Gay Test.

  1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
    It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the
    rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
  2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
    but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
    delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just
    think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass
    over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to
    daddy, snookums!" you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
  3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
    nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ
    ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.
    Anything else and you are in training and undeniably becoming a fag.
  4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
    parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
    bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
  5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will
    never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte
    to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
  6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
    different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be
    handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his
    brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you
    know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile
    other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
  7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
    tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
    slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that
    hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
www.ThatsPhucked.com - Adult Disclaimer

This site contains adult oriented material of a graphic and sexual nature, and may be objectionable to some persons. This material is intended for persons over 21 years of age, and may be against the law in some areas. If you are accessing this area from any location that deems this type of material to be illegal, you must not proceed.

You must agree with each of the below statements and indicate your comprehension and permission to abide by the laws that are applicable to you in your geographical location.

  • I am an adult, being of legal age, 21, in my legal jurisdiction to view adult oriented material that may be sexual or graphical in nature. (Local laws vary throughout the United States, so if you are not 100% sure of the laws applicable to you, you are advised to proceed no further.)


  • I will not redistribute this material to anyone for which it is illegal for them to view or possess such material, nor will I permit any minor, or any person who would find this personally offensive, to view this material.


  • I will hold harmless www.ThatsPhucked.com, its officers, ISP and employees, from and against any claims, liability, losses, costs, damages, or expenses (including attorney's fees) arising from my use of or participation in this service or the information contained therein. Furthermore, I will defend www.ThatsPhucked.com, against all claims of impropriety regarding my use of this service.