Why would someone need the Magnetic Anal Sphincter?

Medically speaking:
"Fecal incontinence is the inability to control bowel movements, causing stool (feces) to leak unexpectedly from the rectum."

Translates to:
Someone shits themselves uncontrollably.

Technology is a wonderful thing and technology has come up with a solution.  Place magnets up your ass to allow the asshole to open and close when the user wishes.

As shown in Fig 1 (Ass closed) and Fig 2 (Ass open).  Who says ThatsPhucked is not educational?

 

Possible flaw in this plan?
If the device is remote controlled then it could be hacked!
Head over to Palm Springs or Florida (high amounts of old people) and send out a massive radio signal, and 1,000s of people suddenly shit themselves.
Awesome!

You know this device could be used to seal in the poop.  Then release when it has grown very large.
Then perhaps produce the largest poop in the world!

in 1955 in a small village just outside Casablanca, 26 year old Zahra Aboutalib is pregnant with her first child. She was looking forward to giving birth, but after 48 hours of painful labour, she was rushed to the local hospital. Doctors informed her that she would need a caesarean section. On the ward Zahra saw a woman in terrible pain die in child-birth. She fled the hospital fearing she would meet the same fate if she remained.

In the days that followed, Zahra continued to suffer excruciating labour pains but the baby remained resolutely in her womb. After a few more days the pains ceased and the baby stopped moving.

In Moroccan culture, it is believed that a baby can sleep inside the mother to protect her honour. Zahra believed this myth and put the pregnancy out of her mind. She adopted three children and in due course they made her a grandmother.

Many years later when Zahra was 75 years old, the pains suddenly returned. Her son being concerned for his mother's well-being wanted her to see a specialist. For this they had to travel to Rabat where they saw Professor Taibi Ouazzani. He suspected the protruding belly was being caused by an ovarian tumour and arranged for her to have an ultra-sound scan. This revealed a large mass that he could not identify.

He referred Zahra to a specialist radiographer for a second opinion. He could see it was a calcified structure of some sort, but it took a detailed MRI scan to reveal that it was the baby Zahra had conceived 46 years earlier.

Zahra had an ectopic pregnancy where the egg had implanted in the fallopian tube. The foetus that developed, burst out of the fallopian tube and continued to develop in the abdominal cavity. It survived by attaching it's placenta to vital organs around her stomach.

Professor Ouazzania was faced with a difficult decision when deciding if it would be safe to try and remove the foetus. The foetus weighed 7lb and measured 42cm in length.
Lithopedion Baby
Stone Baby

When they operated they discovered that the foetus had calcified and was a hard, solid lump. It was, essentially, a stone-baby. More concerning was the fact that it had fused with her abdominal wall and vital organs.

After nearly 4 hours the surgeons manage to remove the calcified foetus from Zahra and the operation is hailed a success.

Picture uploaded by fallen_angel177

Ever wondered if you can set fire to your own farts?

All you have to do is eat 3 large cans of baked beans and then stick a match to your ass and light that fart up!

If you know you would be dead in 30 years, would you blow all your money now and not bother saving for retirement?
There is now a 1 in 450 chance you could be killed by a 200 billion ton asteroid in 2039!

The Potsdamer Neuerster Nachrichten in Germany reported Tuesday that Nico Marquardt used orbital observations from the Astrophysics Institute of Potsdam to correct NASA's original estimate of a 1 in 45,000 chance of a collision up to 1 in 450.

He considered that the asteroid might collide with any one or more of 40,000 satellites during its next closest approach to Earth, which will occur on April 13, 2029.

The satellites orbit the planet at up to 35,880 kilometers altitude, moving at 1.9 miles (3.07 kilometres) per second. The asteroid Apophis will pass by Earth at 32,500 kilometres distance.

If Apophis hits one or more satellite(s) in 2029, that could alter its solar orbit enough to make it impact Earth on its next pass in 2036.

NASA had apparently overlooked the chance that Apophis might hit a satellite or two in 2029. It reportedly told the European Space Agency that Marquardt's revised estimate is correct.

Asteroid Apophis is a mass of solid iron and indium 320 meters in diameter and weighing 200 billion tons. If it impacts Earth, the event will be catastrophic. A similar asteroid impact in the Gulf of Mexico millions of years ago is thought to have killed off the dinosaurs.
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After our previous article on a warning from NASA that we're doomed.  Here is another spin on it.

Earth is currently warming up, no one disagrees with that.  It is the how that is in contention.  It seems that Mars is also experiencing a warming trend.

In 2005 data from NASA's Mars Global Surveyor and Odyssey missions revealed that the carbon dioxide "ice caps" near Mars's South Pole had been diminishing for three summers in a row.

Habibullo Abdussamatov, head of space research at St. Petersburg's Pulkovo Astronomical Observatory in Russia, says the Mars data is evidence that the current global warming on Earth is being caused by changes in the sun.
"The long-term increase in solar irradiance is heating both Earth and Mars," he said.
Abdussamatov believes that changes in the sun's heat output can account for almost all the climate changes we see on both planets.

Mars and Earth, for instance, has experienced periodic ice ages throughout their histories.

"Man-made greenhouse warming has made a small contribution to the warming seen on Earth in recent years, but it cannot compete with the increase in solar irradiance," Abdussamatov said.

So what are you to believe?  What should you do about it?

Buy your SUV/Sports car?   Buy an economy car?
Here is another way to cut carbon output and pollution.
Stop having so many damned children!
Fewer children, less cars, less resources consumed, less pollution…

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/02/070228-mars-warming.html
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The earth is doomed unless we do more to reduce carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

Head of the Nasa Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York, James Hansen, told the EU that their 550 parts per million of C02 was simply not good enough, and should be slashed down to 350 ppm.  Europe’s 550 ppm target is already the world’s most rigorous, with countries like the US and China not even coming close to this figure.  Hansen is convinced that levels need to be drastically reduced if, "humanity wishes to preserve a planet similar to that on which civilization developed".

The new figure of 350 ppm is a number that scientists have developed after dredging up large amounts of muddy crap from the bottom of the ocean to study the levels of Co2 present in it. What they found was that 35 million years ago, at the beginning of the ice age, the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere was about 450ppm.
The new study shows that at levels as high as 550ppm, the world would warm up by six degrees centigrade, three degrees warmer than previous studies had estimated.

The previously low estimates were the fault of what Hansen calls " slow feedback" mechanisms which magnify the rise in temperature caused by increasing the concentration of greenhouse gases.  To put it more simply, when ice and snow melts, they leave uncovered earth which absorbs even more heat. So, as the world’s glaciers and ice shelves melt, the warming effect is compounded.

Hansen says “What we have found is that the target we have all been aiming for is a disaster - a guaranteed disaster”. The cheerful fellow added, “If we follow business as usual I can't see how west Antarctica could survive a century. We are talking about a sea-level rise of at least a couple of meters this century"

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/apr/07/climatechange.carbonemissions