This guys really needs to get over playing with his stuffed animals!
He likes them so much, he lets them phuck him and then he phucks them!
Phucked Up!

Girlfriend: Honey, your dick is too small, I just can't feel it.
Boyfriend: Well... How about I kick you in the pussy you bitch!
Girlfriend: Phuck you! Your foot is the only thing you have big enough!
Boyfriend: OK, sit on my foot bitch!

You may have heard of 2 Kids In A SandBox.  If you're a guy then 2 Kids In A SandBox will scare the crap out of you!

From my point of view, 2 Kids In A SandBox is by far the most painful video I have EVER watched.

It goes right to the bone!

Remember, you must be at least 21 years of age to watch the 2 Kids In A SandBox Video

I'm not really sure how it happened.

Actually, I do know how it happened.

Surfer Guy and I were rolling on ecstasy one night and we got to talking about my kinks and fetishes list.

SG: That I was a pretty cool list, but I meant to ask... I didn't see anything on there about rimjobs... how do you feel about that?
Me: I'm down! Are you into anal play? On you, I mean?
SG: Well, sure... it's a definite erogenous zone, for sure.

Fast forward to being naked in his bedroom, with a porn DVD playing on every TV in his condo. I'm going down on him and I tell him to turn around and bend over, to which he happily obliged. I planted my face in his ass while jerking him off (also known as the rusty trombone), and I'm thinking I had my face buried in his pooper for a good twenty minutes.

We move up on the bed, and at some point or another (while I was on the phone with a friend of mine, I think), I told him to finger me.

I felt one finger.

Then two.

Then three.

And I was yapping away on the phone, I felt the airspace get a little too tight (if you know what I mean), and I asked, 'Dude, how many fingers do you have in there?'

SG: Uh. All of them.
Me: Whoa, really?
SG: Yeah. This is kind of cool. I have never had this many fingers in a girl.
Me: Sweet!

I was curious as to why he would stick his entire hand in my vagina. Then I remembered a conversation we had a few weeks prior -- something along the lines of, 'Got any lube? Let's see how many fingers you can fit in my crotch!'

I went back to yapping and at some point or another, I handed the phone off to Surfer Guy so I could continue blowing him, and then I hung up -- while going down on him.

SG: Why don't you stick a finger in there?
Me: OK!

So, in porno-fashion, I hawked a volley of saliva into his back-door canal and stuck a finger in there. Then I opened up the bottle of lube with my one good hand and drizzled a little bit on the surface.

He went absolutely fucking crazy.

In my ecstasy-crazed mind (we had taken 2.5 tabs, mind you), it seemed logical that sticking another finger in there would make him go even crazier.

So I stuck a second one in there.

'OH MY GOD, THAT'S FUCKING AMAZING!' he exclaimed.

I decided to return the fisting favor.

I stuck a third one in there.

Then a fourth.

Then my thumb.

And I rocked my arm back and forth, gently, into his brown love canal. After a few minutes...

SG: How many fingers do you have in there??
Me: ...all of them.
SG: ...shut the fuck up.
Me: I swear!

I was wrist-deep in poopy -- literally and figuratively, but not quite literally.

SG: Holy shit.
Me: HA!!
SG: I have never had that many fingers in there. Wow.
Me: Yeah. I can't say I've had this many fingers in a guy.

After a few minutes, he made me stop as it was probably becoming uncomfortable for him.

He eventually brought out a strap-on, which I donned with glee. I told him to get on his knees and bend over.

SG: No. Lay down.
Me: ...OK?

I laid down and he climbed on top of me, while improving his erection by hand. With his one good hand, he lubed his back side up... and started riding me like a cowboy. In the midst of it, I thought it would be a good idea to lift myself up off my hips. He went nuts.

A few hours later, our roll started to die down, so we smoked some of his medical marijuana. At the time, it seemed like a good idea, ignoring the actual fact that marijuana and I have never gotten along.

Within a few minutes, I was nearly brain-dead. And paranoid. With a large dildo in my hand. Next thing I know, I'm banging him in the ass with it as hard as I could, almost as if I left my keys in his ass and I was trying to pry them out. Eventually, he had me stop.

SG: Oh my God. That was fucking intense.
Me: I uh, have no recollection of the last fifteen minutes.

An hour later, he asked me if I had ever watched gay porn -- I said 'no,' causing him to pull out his laptop to sign onto a gay porn website. I watched him beat off to a porno clip of an old man ass-ramming an 18 year old boy, and fell asleep.

Ecstasy is a hell of a drug.

I guess when you cannot find a second guy, a doll will do!

Thanks to "Stricker" for submitting his tattoo.
He started when he was 18 and was recently kicked out of his local Disney Store.  Not surprising really since the tattoo is of a Eeyore the Donkey pounding Tigger!

Thanks to readers who pointed out this was Tigger and not Pooh!

Mr. Phucked is lost for words on this one...

This Orangutan takes it all!

Are you bored with the same old vacations?  Can't stand yet another trip to Hawaii or Florida?
Why not try a sex vacation!

This is true, no BS.

You can actually book a sex vacation and have a different girl every night in a luxurious resort for no more money than a luxury trip to Hawaii.

Here are some examples:

Taboo Villas

Total Satisfaction Holidays

Charlis Angels

Sure beats Disney Land... 

Not only does That's Phucked provide you with most Phucked Up Video's and articles.
Now you can purchase the most Phucked Up shit for all your sexual needs!

Try our fully anatomically correct Inflatable Sheep and bring it with you to your next party.
She might even make a good Halloween buddy...
It's sure to get a laugh!

Luvin Lamb



Not to forget the ladies out there...
Always wanted a great sex toy?
Why not try the same sex toy made famous by Sex and the City?

Jack Rabbit