These girls are pretty hot, and most guys would not hesitate to have sex with them.
In fact I'm sure many of you would even pay good money to have sex with them!

Well is a little tit bit for you.  They are all MEN!
Yes That's Phucked readers, they're all Lady Boys and have penises.

Regular readers of this site will of course know how to spot lady boys using our That's Phucked Lady Boy Advice Article

 

Are you bored with the same old vacations?  Can't stand yet another trip to Hawaii or Florida?
Why not try a sex vacation!

This is true, no BS.

You can actually book a sex vacation and have a different girl every night in a luxurious resort for no more money than a luxury trip to Hawaii.

Here are some examples:

Taboo Villas

Total Satisfaction Holidays

Charlis Angels

Sure beats Disney Land... 

Following on from Yesterdays Thai Massage Parlors we have the Thai Sex Show.
There are basically 2 kinds.  The regular sex show and the show with animals!
Surprisingly, Mr. Phucked ran at out of time for the animal show.  I was too busy avoiding the Lady Boys!
It really is amazing what Thai women can do with their Vagina.  They really are very talented!

The sex show consisted of:

• Picking up beer bottles with their vagina
• Firing an egg out of their vagina
• Firing ping pong balls out of their vagina into a target bucket

The finale to this show was a girl who managed to pull out of her vagina 100 pins all tied together with string.
This was truly amazing.  So when she was done with her performance, I had to ask how she did it.
Apparently the trick is to insert them carefully behind the stage with the sharp ending pointing inside her.  On stage she carefully pulls them out, with the blunt end coming out first, thereby preventing vaginal injuries (hopefully).

So there you have it, Thailand is filled with talented Vaginas!

OK Guys, thinking about your next vacation?
Want to be guaranteed sex whilst on vacation?
Let me tell you about my trip to Thailand, specifically PhuKet…

Phuket is small town by the ocean, great beaches, nice hotels, cheap food and a slut buffet.
Venturing out at night to the clubs and bars you will find them full of woman willing to do anything and entice you to take them home.
Some are local girls looking for a good time and many are hookers selling a good time.  I found the following:

- Bunch of 4-5 girls all dressed as school girls (All willing to go home together)
- Bunch of nurses
- Bunch of cheerleaders
- Lots of single girls alone and many with “friends” who can join them

In other words, a pervert’s paradise!

If you’re looking for a local, simply buying them a nice dinner ($10) will get them home with you.
If you want them even faster the local hookers will go home for $20 the whole night!
Want two at the same time?  $50 and anything goes!

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the famous Thai massage parlors...

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell - They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

P.S. If I offend anyone, I don't care.

Two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the plane.
Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're heading straight for the water at the edge of the airport.

As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
Just at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

..... In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna Phucken die."

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In 2007 I visited a small town called Iquitos located in the Peruvian Amazon jungle (Peru).
I spent 3 days in this little town and 4 days pretty deep in the jungle.  The experience was amazing and I really recommend it!

As with most 3rd world countries.  There is an amazing amount of prostitution.  But sometimes, it's pretty damned Phucked Up!

In Iquitos, there are no cabs, just little motor bikes with a seat strapped on.  Like a tuk-tuk in Thailand.
I asked the driver to take me to some of the fun places in the city.  He proceeded to tell me about where the prostitutes are.

He described the scene down at the river...

Fathers take their daughters to a spot at the side of the river.  The boat consists of a simple cover with a bed in the back.
The girls are very young, ranging from 12 to 19 years old.  Many are virgins.  The popular girls have lines and demand higher prices.
If you want a virgin, it might cost you $20.  Otherwise $5-$10.
Fathers whore their daughters out for money!!!  This absolutely amazes me!!

The Amazon is very poor.
But on my travels I witnessed many people living off the land and can see no reason as to why a father would stoop so low!

The above picture was taken about 3 hrs via boat from Iquitos and is of a very happy young girl living off the land with very loving parents.
If only they were all like that...
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*

Planning your trip to Asia yet?  Thinking of Thailand? Are you single/horny?
Then allow me to fill you in with a little advice...

In Thailand there are what's called "Lady boys" which as the name suggests are boys who are now "Ladies"
Now lady I use loosely.  These ladies can be in various stages of "completeness"  Most have breasts and many still have their penises!

BE VERY CAREFUL...

These Lady boys can look just like the real thing!!  If you're drunk, you might not realize this until a penis is dangling in front of your face!
Nothing sobers you up more than a girl with breasts and a penis in your face.

How do you spot Lady Boys?

First, check the Adam's apple.  If she looks like a man, she probably is!
Lady boys usually hang out in lady boy bars.  Typically you will see a bunch of recently arrived English tourists on their first night out in these bars.
They think they have struck gold with so many "women" and not much competition.

Lady boys typically use some fangled contraption to pull their penis between their legs towards their ass.  This means that you cannot easily grab their crotch area to check for penis status.

So how do you know for sure?  No sure way... During your first few nights, observe the women and you will soon learn the art of spotting the "Lady Boy"

Good luck and remember a safe penis is wrapped in bubble wrap (aka condom)

* She is NOT a lady boy, don't worry, she does look good

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