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Pilot Safety Records

by Mr. Phucked 4/15/2008 9:30:00 PM
danger - airlines landing
Two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the plane.
Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're heading straight for the water at the edge of the airport.

As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
Just at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

..... In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna Phucken die."


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Travel | General Humor

Prostitution Of Young Boat Girls In The Amazon

by Mr. Phucked 3/23/2008 9:30:00 PM

 

In 2007 I visited a small town called Iquitos located in the Peruvian Amazon jungle (Peru).
I spent 3 days in this little town and 4 days pretty deep in the jungle.  The experience was amazing and I really recommend it!

As with most 3rd world countries.  There is an amazing amount of prostitution.  But sometimes, it's pretty damned Phucked Up!

In Iquitos, there are no cabs, just little motor bikes with a seat strapped on.  Like a tuk-tuk in Thailand.
I asked the driver to take me to some of the fun places in the city.  He proceeded to tell me about where the prostitutes are.

He described the scene down at the river...

Fathers take their daughters to a spot at the side of the river.  The boat consists of a simple cover with a bed in the back.
The girls are very young, ranging from 12 to 19 years old.  Many are virgins.  The popular girls have lines and demand higher prices.
If you want a virgin, it might cost you $20.  Otherwise $5-$10.
Fathers whore their daughters out for money!!!  This absolutely amazes me!!

The Amazon is very poor.
But on my travels I witnessed many people living off the land and can see no reason as to why a father would stoop so low!

The above picture was taken about 3 hrs via boat from Iquitos and is of a very happy young girl living off the land with very loving parents.
If only they were all like that...


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Travel | Sex | Freaky | Phucked Up

Thailand and "Lady Boys"

by Mr. Phucked 10/14/2007 1:02:00 PM

Thailand and Lady Boys 
*

Planning your trip to Asia yet?  Thinking of Thailand? Are you single/horny?
Then allow me to fill you in with a little advice...

In Thailand there are what's called "Lady boys" which as the name suggests are boys who are now "Ladies"
Now lady I use loosely.  These ladies can be in various stages of "completeness"  Most have breasts and many still have their penises!

BE VERY CAREFUL...

These Lady boys can look just like the real thing!!  If you're drunk, you might not realize this until a penis is dangling in front of your face!
Nothing sobers you up more than a girl with breasts and a penis in your face.

How do you spot Lady Boys?

First, check the Adam's apple.  If she looks like a man, she probably is!
Lady boys usually hang out in lady boy bars.  Typically you will see a bunch of recently arrived English tourists on their first night out in these bars.
They think they have struck gold with so many "women" and not much competition.

Lady boys typically use some fangled contraption to pull their penis between their legs towards their ass.  This means that you cannot easily grab their crotch area to check for penis status.

So how do you know for sure?  No sure way... During your first few nights, observe the women and you will soon learn the art of spotting the "Lady Boy"

Good luck and remember a safe penis is wrapped in bubble wrap (aka condom)

* She is NOT a lady boy, don't worry, she does look good

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Dating | Sexy | Travel

© Copyright 2007


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Who writes all this crap?

Mr. Phucked
Sex: Male
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Height: 6 feet
Weight: 175 lbs
Eyes: Blue
Penis Size: Top Secret
Location: Undisclosed location somewhere in California, United States.

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Annik
(Actual Knee)
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Ethnicity: Asian
Height: 5 feet 2 inches
Weight: Perfect and Sexy Proportions
Eyes: Brown
Vagina Status: Waxed, smooth and available
Location: Residing at a different undisclosed location somewhere in California, United States.
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