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Largest Poo in the World?

by Mr. Phucked 2/19/2008 12:30:00 AM

Ever wondered how to lay and measure your own poop?

Follow these scarcely detailed instructions:

Eat a lot, don't poo.
Wait 6 days.
After poo has sufficiently festered, it is now ready to be laid.
After 6 days, it's just dying to be set free, so set it free.
Ensure no one else is around.
Lay down 2 strips of Aluminum foil in front of an open door frame.
Strip naked.
Place one foot and one hand on each side of the door frame and place yourself into a squat position.
Ensure you are securely hanging from the door frame, ass above one end of the foil, furthest away from the door frame.
Start to squeeze the buttocks, but not too much, it has to be a controlled drop.
As it starts to come out and approaches the foil, this is VERY important. Don't laugh! This will only pinch the poo resulting in a waste of 6 days preparation.
When the poo first reaches the foil and continues its death spiral, start to slowly pull yourself toward the door frame.
Continue this movement until the entire poo has been laid to rest.
Look down and admire your work.
Wipe ass.
Measure poo with Sprite can and measuring stick.
If you want to capture the occasion, grab your camera and capture what truly is the ultimate Kodak moment.

Poomaster massive poo

Above picture shows Poo measuring 3.2 sprites (Almost 15 inches)

Poomaster massive poo

Close up of poo showing texture and consistency. Can you spot the corn?

Poomaster massive poo

Poo cut up into 4 sections, ready for disposal.

How is the poo disposed of?

Cut the poo using a cutting device into 4 sections (Metal dry cleaning hanger is very effective)
Once it's cut into 4 (or more) sections grab some toilet paper and dispose of each section into the toilet and flush.
WARNING: Do not dispose of the whole poo into toilet as this will cause a blockage of massive proportions. Resulting in brown water flooding, massive stinkiness and untold embarrassment.
After each section has been flushed, roll up Aluminum foil and dispose into trash.
Smile. Consider yourself one Phucked Up human being.
Submit your pictures to Mr. Phucked at Phucked@ThatsPhucked.com for review and possible infamy on this site.

Currently rated 3.1 by 81 people

Currently 3.111111/5 Stars.
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Tags: poo, largest, poomaster

Freaky | Phucked Up | Poo

Largest breasts in the world?Largest breasts in the world with Norma Stitz's and Chelsea,Charms.That's Phucked Up Forum, for all your Phucked Up Needs Phucked up request from The Poo MasterPoo master to submit details of his poo

Comments

2/19/2008 8:56:51 AM

Holy Crap!

WOW

2/26/2008 1:27:58 PM

lol damn...

PleX

3/8/2008 8:45:32 AM

what is that?

XueYan Shi

3/11/2008 8:33:34 AM

I am told it's a human poo Via the "Poomaster"

Mr. Phucked

3/21/2008 11:25:53 AM

i have laid bigger just by waiting one day

richard f

3/21/2008 8:20:21 PM

In that case Richard F.
Would you care to share a picture with something next to it to show scale as shown above. The "poomaster" holds the record until someone else shows us theirs...

Let the poo games begin...

Mr. Phucked

3/22/2008 7:37:48 AM

Think that's mine ... don't destroy it !

Richy Nixon jun.

3/22/2008 3:48:05 PM

Who would want to take a shit that big???My ass would be so sore...Lol

xXKiLLaHXx

3/31/2008 6:11:19 PM

That's some disturbing things, I never knew you could actually lay eggs like this
Wow, how many months were u prgenent, I'm amazed at how big the POO is did, They put it in the beginners world of record. I hope so.... It would be amazing seeing such things in there books, kidding.

Richard

4/7/2008 2:42:06 PM

You nasty bitch u gay as fuck 2 just nasty

lkjhg

4/7/2008 2:43:00 PM

You dirty whore doo doo head bastard

lkjhg

4/10/2008 12:23:51 AM

am i the only 1 who thinks its really thin yea its long but mad thin doesnt girth count for something?

kamble

4/16/2008 12:07:24 AM

Its very obviously tootsie rolls rolled together with something to darken it....like molassis.

Swagger

4/18/2008 7:53:31 PM

i think it really looks like brownie mix or something along the lines of that... i mean... he even cut it up into sections on foil lol

snarf

4/25/2008 2:37:59 AM

wow good job

jerry mateo

5/5/2008 12:15:04 AM

wow, this guy has some skills. I'm always trying to "not pinch" it when I got a big one coming out just so that I don't get that little piece stuck that I end up wiping for an hour. I guess this is proof that you can do anything, if you try hard enough!

Actually you know if he created a "how-to" video that would be pretty awesome in an insanely gross but "can't look away" kind of way.

benny

5/10/2008 8:31:34 PM

THATS A SMALL TERD IVE TAKEN BIGGER SHITS THEN THAT WHEN I WAS A BABY

craig

5/10/2008 8:47:57 PM

That may be true.
But are you willing to take a shit on Aluminum foil, take pictures and send them to ThatsPhucked?
Then we will believe you...

Mr. Phucked

5/12/2008 7:00:25 PM

hahaha holy shit.!!!!!!

ANA CRUZ.. GRAHAM. NC

5/15/2008 7:33:15 AM

You DON'T have to get so impressed with these anti-social things. You can't open your mind wide too much! YUCK!

rainbowcandy

6/12/2008 10:37:07 AM

Wow.......... thats sick and nasty so was two girls 1 cup.

Hott!

6/12/2008 10:54:19 AM

I could do that if i tryed

some dude

6/12/2008 11:49:14 PM

Ok, then some dude!
Let's see the pictures!

Send them to phucked@thatsphucked.com

Mr. Phucked

6/13/2008 5:59:10 PM

hahhahahahhah!!, best shit ever, who was the motherfucker that dropped that!!, hahahahahahahhah

pirata

6/19/2008 9:58:28 PM

Thats fucked up dude.
who in the hell has enough time on their hands to measure there shit?

c-nasty

6/20/2008 9:13:42 PM

all you people here are fuckin sick people, my friend went on this to show me and this site disgusts me. all you people watching this shit, and it dosnt bother you to watch it are gross, sick mother fuckers

gross-shit

6/23/2008 11:39:48 PM

We are in deed morbid mother fuckers but if you watched more then this then that makes you one as well don't it fruit cake!!

Your Royal Anus

7/13/2008 11:38:19 PM

holy fucking jumping shit balls.

Gabe

7/14/2008 1:41:32 AM

god dammit this is worse than getting rickroll'd!!!!
Watch 1 girl 1 phone it shows a girl with a phone in her snatch!!!

cool

7/15/2008 10:53:35 PM

HOLY SHITBALLS!!!

stalkersteve

7/25/2008 9:18:52 AM

ZOMFGLMAO

BLARG

8/13/2008 12:09:56 PM

WTF is wrong with people!? Only in America or Japan...

de Gothia

8/23/2008 11:32:12 PM

dddddaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnn!!!

awesome tits

8/28/2008 9:47:42 AM

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW! WTF!

Para

8/30/2008 5:29:46 PM

Well, if a 15 inch turd can come out your ass, a 15 inch cock can go in it. You should be proud. For your information, I am sure there is allot of gays willing to pay to see a 15 inch cock coming out of ya than that abomination. LOL

Kevlar

8/31/2008 4:25:11 PM

I just can't believe I looked at that shit.

LMFAOOOOOOOOO.
yuck.
dirty BEEYOTCH.

Ellie.

9/4/2008 3:49:30 AM

awesome dude!

Al Bonya

9/4/2008 4:42:58 PM

WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SOME SHIT LIKE THAT?

GET A LIFE...........

barry

9/7/2008 1:36:02 PM

HOLY SHIT!
THATS A BIG SHIT!

Austin

9/13/2008 6:52:37 PM

god damn

Mr.beanzy

9/14/2008 3:31:28 AM

not as big as connors

nikita

9/15/2008 1:53:40 AM

that's nasty

orly?

9/25/2008 5:22:19 AM

I swear I can smell it through the screen...I salute you, Mr. Phucked!

Johnson

9/25/2008 11:13:15 AM

Thank you Johnson. I'm glad you can feel the Phucked reaching out of the screen and out to you!

Mr. Phucked

Mr. Phucked

10/1/2008 5:01:29 PM

you yank cunts r fukt up

kyle

10/7/2008 3:17:24 AM

mother fucker, that was nice... kudos to teh poomastur!

garrble

10/14/2008 8:46:18 PM

HAHAHA IT LOOKS LIKE A NIGGERS DICK

CHACHACHA

10/14/2008 11:16:54 PM

WELL IF THAT IS A NIGGERS DICK ...WHERE IS THE CRACKER SON-OF-A-BITCH...THAT SWALLOWED IT......NOW HA HA HA HA HA.......AND STAY OFF OUR DICKS!!!

FUCKTHEWORLD

10/16/2008 5:40:35 PM

THATS GOT TO BE AT LEAST 100 COURICS!!!

Tits Magee

10/19/2008 1:46:30 PM

I've done one better. mine were fucking 60" and it's no lie ppl!

Robin

11/3/2008 8:50:17 PM

i did this mine was surprisingly 23 inches i dint think it would work i tried my hardest not to laugh thank god i didnt

robert

11/18/2008 2:07:40 PM

LMAO. That so nasty but soooo funny at the same timee.

StinaLee

11/19/2008 1:57:45 AM

ha ha when your in the medical feild thats small ever see a five foot long fecal impaction that still retains the shape of the large intestine now thats a turd. a weird rubbery turd lol

mrsmarty pants

11/19/2008 6:39:49 PM

WhAt ThE fUcK WaS ThAt shIt. My sHiT Is LOnGeR tHaN ThAt........................................ YeAh.

RADIKAL DUDE

11/19/2008 6:43:59 PM

Ur A PhUcKiNg dUmbeSt aSs jOHnSoN U ShOuLd sHoOt uR SeLf.

RADIKAL DUDE

11/24/2008 6:49:47 AM

我操他好妈啊

哦了

11/29/2008 5:36:43 PM

PENIS

johnson mcgee2

12/2/2008 12:44:42 PM

aint that some shit? lol

RICK

12/14/2008 2:59:58 PM

i would repeat the method to create a family of shits,

the cock

12/27/2008 2:24:25 AM

i swear the other day i had a 12 incher without even trying i bet i could pull of a 18 if i REALLY tried

SnoochyBoochy

12/31/2008 1:33:18 PM

lmao snoochy!! I agree...I take enormous ones without trying...it's so weird but I feel some sort of accomplishment when I have a brown abortion. I always wave it goodbye when I flush...sometimes I tear up.

Christian

1/4/2009 4:26:17 AM

Awww look at the baaaaby

Jewish

1/4/2009 4:27:21 AM

is that randy jackson??

Jewish

1/14/2009 4:21:29 AM

now that's some impressive shit!

al_kilyaraz

1/15/2009 1:25:46 AM

leave it on someones doorstep as a prank ya?

henry

1/19/2009 3:44:57 AM

I've got that beat. Easily!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5kz9QK87gk

LoL Enjoy!

Nate

1/21/2009 9:07:16 AM

gives new meaning to 'dropping the kids off at the pool'

i mean, that is at least as long as a newborn infant, c'mon!

vinkredible

2/2/2009 6:44:35 PM

wtf, you people are fucked up lol, but yeah why cant i post a msg on the phuckin marines video holy shit what a piece of shit, hop0e some fuckin towel head throws him of a cliff, what a clown i mean your cool guy i dont give a shit what you go through your a piece of shit on my shoe that im not going to scrap off cuz i enjoy walking on you FAGGET

we35y

2/8/2009 5:11:43 AM

wowlwsafjaskjflskadjfljvd.km jfajkdb ksdlal,.v xcksfajlkjdsjklsf

'big poopy thats just nasty

sadfjkadfsjk

2/10/2009 12:11:44 AM

now u gonna show a vid f som1 eaing it?

LMAONOWAY

2/11/2009 3:18:15 PM

eat and not take a shit for 6 days and that's as long as you can get it? You must not eat much. I have taken shits longer and thicker than that and i shit like few times a day

2/13/2009 1:08:35 AM

holey shit of all shits!!

WhattheFuCK!!"?

2/14/2009 8:12:19 PM

Damn he must have had a killer stomach prior to that long piece of shit coming out.

FlowingGeisha

2/14/2009 8:12:57 PM

Damn he must have had a killer stomach ache prior to that long piece of shit coming out.

FlowingGeisha

2/16/2009 12:31:03 PM

aww so cute!!!

DOUCHEBAG

2/20/2009 2:42:09 AM

honestly and i mean really honestly. ive dropped a 22 inch turd one time and i took a pic on my friends phone and he accidentaly went swimming and his phone fell out of his pocket...... it was phucked up.....

white_power

2/21/2009 11:18:13 PM

how many kouricks is that terd?

dj killwill

2/25/2009 6:31:39 PM

OMFG

POOMASTER

3/6/2009 8:43:56 PM

it looks like some guy was getting nailed in the ass then the guys dick fell off and he shit it out

mitch

3/25/2009 2:08:44 PM

I've seen one in a skateboarding magazine called Big Brother. It was published by Larry Flint and they actually paid you if you sent in a picture of a big enough turd. One guy sent one in that was only about five and a half inches but the fuckin thing looked like a pine cone. it had to have been at least seven inches in circumference

stupid

4/6/2009 5:45:05 PM

it makes me laugh how this site shows some freakish, bloody, gory, disturbing and scary stuff, but still uses a childish word like poo ^_^

S00B

4/19/2009 5:05:58 AM

Don't try to hold it in, that could cause damage.

Just eat a whole pack of muesli or rolled oats and it will come out the next day.

I had one sticking up so I couldn't close the lid. It was the Eiffel tower. I couldnt close the lid or flush it. I broke it up with the brush.

Leon

6/15/2009 2:28:26 PM

长长的.硬黑屎

soul fu

7/21/2009 4:49:30 PM

hay look its michal jackson come bk from the dead lmao u should b proud

bob

8/3/2009 7:35:28 AM

omgosh as sick as i feel now.. that was totally amazing!!
Well the steps in doing it and how to dispose it was.

Bex See

8/6/2009 8:58:31 PM

I may try this tomorrow....

Fr3ak

8/8/2009 5:19:29 AM

How many kuricks did it measure ??

Will

8/21/2009 9:42:23 PM

my 15 year old son shits bigger than that. ill tell him to do what this guy did.

aegljakldfhagkld

8/22/2009 2:44:58 AM

ya dude i swear my eyes started to water when i saw that, i swear i could smell it. that is some crazy phucked up shit, KUDOS to you XD

wow

8/28/2009 1:28:53 AM

i might do this and send a picture here maybe even beat a record who knows?

dmenol

10/22/2009 4:39:28 AM

Wow, so very unhealthy yet I'm impressed.

Fizz

10/25/2009 7:14:36 PM

I'd like to see a Twogirlsonecup-like video but with a girl deepthroating this shit lol

Weder

12/2/2009 10:12:24 AM

ahaha! i laughed because i pooped last week and it was LONGER than that =]]

summer

12/24/2009 12:30:43 PM

My god I bet that took a while to lay!

blue

12/25/2009 10:35:24 PM

holy shit....thats a huge piece of shit!

anonymous

1/3/2010 2:30:55 AM

this is what people in colorado do in their free time...

Christopher

1/9/2010 3:11:36 PM

@will " how many kuricks does it measure?"

Lol...

Turtleburgers

1/14/2010 5:13:16 PM

i've made bigger...

justme

1/25/2010 10:09:41 PM

i laid a huge one i waited 3 whole weeks =]

megan

3/9/2010 2:08:23 PM

Fuck you, Jewish. That's not Randy Jackson, it's your long ass nose that accidentally got dipped in some chocolate sauce while you where eating and a hungy KKK member sliced it off and passed it for poo!!

Nakeyta

3/9/2010 2:08:37 PM

Before eating it!

Nakeyta

3/9/2010 2:09:17 PM

And I know I spelled "hungry" wrong.

Nakeyta

3/25/2010 5:46:48 AM

Its only missing one thing "weight"if i had to take a guess...... 2 and a half pounder maybe give or take and ounce

Andrew

4/16/2010 11:47:54 PM

Yes. Let the poo games begin indeed.

COSMOFONT

7/3/2010 4:00:22 AM

Jeez i feel like vomiting now reminds me of 2 girls 1 cup

7/4/2010 8:30:00 PM

well thats some phucked up huge poooooop
mm tasty O.o

telaras

7/5/2010 4:02:44 AM

i hope he doesent use the knife he cut the poo up with anymore XP

Ninja

8/29/2010 12:11:57 AM

I love how all the critical judgmental people say 'You are all sick nasty freaks' yet WHAT THE FUCK IS ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN THAT YOUR COMMENTING ON RIGHT NOW...

Sunnyg6458

9/22/2010 2:58:28 PM

Yummmm.. Looks so tasty..)

Ivan Turdson

1/11/2011 2:53:08 PM

My record was 12 inch. Was caught short outside after getting locked out. It was 3 inch wide too came out in a second REALLY HURT was running around in my garden. In the end to dispose of it I threw it over the fence into the neighbours garden. Thats alright though becasue they are dirty and have no sense of pride.

1position69

2/13/2011 2:26:25 AM