That's Phucked

Guy that hasn't pooped in the month of August...

Part I

My last bowel movement was July 29th, for the last 10 days I have limited myself to one bowl of cereal a day, b/c the bloating is just too painful. I have gained 11 pounds during this entire ordeal. I've tried everything from coffee enemas to stretching. Nothing has worked. My doctor now has me on 4 different medications and I am about to do 2 different types of Enemas. He swears I shall see something pass today.

For the first time in a long while I do actually feel something going on in my lower stomach. My doctor warned, with extreme constipation of this sort, I may actually rip my anus from the impacted poop. This has forced me to take muscle relaxers and actually have to apply Vaseline to my anus twice a day.

I will keep you updated, and for you Reddit, if I release this beast, I promise to take pictures. That is if you want me to. My doctor guesses this will weigh close to 6 pounds! So buckle up and pray for my butthole.

This is the first time this has happened to me. I've gone 7 days before, but nothing like this. around day 18-20 I had to lay in bed and not move b/c the feces was causing cramps. I've had night sweats for the last week. It's gone to far, today I dont care if I rip my anus, I'm going to go to the damn bathroom!

Edit: Off to take enema numero uno, I'll be back in 10 minutes!

Off to take enema number 2, I'll be back to 15 mins. I'll also take stomach bloat pic as requested

This prob does look like much, but I'm 6'3 and weigh 175, and have to lean forward to see my toes 

Edit: guys my girlfriend has been reading your comments and thinks we need to go to another doctor, I'm kinda concerned reading your comments regarding anal tearing and his lack of attention to it. Going to go to a 24 hour clinic, I'll report back when I get home. It's cramping again and I can barely stand up. Thanks for your support. Meanwhile you have my girlfriend rather worried about our doctor of 3 years

Edit: Final update for a while guys. I'm posting this from the hospital. There are doctors and nurses wearing what looks like very expendable clothing. The doctor tells me there will be a manual retrieval that should have happened days ago. I know that you guys aren't the praying type but I need some sort of God on my side right now. I'd say that I'm scared shitless and I think that's a pretty accurate statement. Updates as soon as humanly possible. Reddit, I'm scared now.

12:01 CST Update - Sorry I fell off the face of the earth earlier. I went in to the hospital and had a rather unpleasant experience. They gave me a drug called 'golytely' and some other mild sedatives that basically allowed my ass to loosen up enough to where a nurse(male) could get his claw mouse grip into my asshole(Manual Disimpaction) and rip out what felt like a sword. In reality, the clog was about twice the size of a golfball. I really did ask if I could take a picture of it, but they just laughed it off and took it away. On a bright note, I asked if that was all that was coming. He laughed and said I was in for a grand finale after my next enema. I am too exhausted to even thinking about taking on that chore tonight. Me and my asshole are currently not on speaking terms. It's sore and feels violated. No lacerations, but very, very sore. Tomorrow is the day Reddit, tomorrow is the day. For your support all day and advice to go to the damn hospital, you shall be rewarded with countless pictures.

Part II

First and foremost I would like to thank the community of Reddit for talking me into going to the hospital and getting the cork out of me. There are a few milestones in life, but finally ridding myself of weeks of shit was a glorious personal achievement.

The immediate relief after releasing what sounded like Voldemort being killed was orgasmic.

The response was overwhelming. Last night was I guess as easy as it could have gone despite having to go the hospital. Although that wretched concoction I drank was inside of me through out the night, I believe that this morning it assisted in unleashing the Kraken.

It was a battle but your OP fought the good fight. It was mostly liquid that came out, and despite the courtesy flushes I did manage to snag some pictures of... a collection. The weight being 1.72 pounds doesn't sound as impressive as of what you might of being hoping for, but I can assure you over 2 lbs were liquid and unable to be retrieved. I expect to have to make visits to the bathroom throughout the rest of the day.

I hope you can appreciate the process of what it was like, fishing for my shit in a toilet and putting it into a bowl and weighing it. I threw up in my mouth and lost my appetite for the day. I did it for you, Reddit. You had a hand in this.

I am actually have a celebratory post-passing of the feces party tonight and I will attach a video of the turd hanging out with us.

I'll be around for about an hour or so but I suspect the girlfriend will make me get off the computer for some rest. Feel free to Ask me Anything about the process.

Warning: It's pictures of poop in a bowl.

Guy that hasn't pooped in the month of August...

Guy that hasn't pooped in the month of August...

Refer to our article on how to how to lay and measure your poo

View Original Article Here

Comments (28) -

HandsomeDevil
United States HandsomeDevil

that bowl of shit looks like a japanese porn stars lunch.  nasty bitches...=P

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the picture looked more phucked after reading the story.

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Why did I read this?

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I once didnt shit for 5 or 6 weeks. Most painful thing in my life. The unlucky thing for me was that I didnt go to the hospital, i just shat it out, and it was one of the most painful things i have ever experienced. I literally had to push around 10 times before it would move a bit since the shit was so big.

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downtownking
Canada downtownking

kind of felt happy for this guy at the end, he finally won

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i enjoyed this story am i weird?

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Fucking clown shoes, Mr Phucked.  This wasn't funny at all; just kinda dumb.  I read a story about some schmuck who couldn't shit.  Wasted five minutes of my life for absolutely no humor at all.

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downtownking
Canada downtownking

then don't read the whole thing and post like a giant queer...

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dude from us
United States dude from us

Looks like a bowl of nigger, just smells better

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dude from us a nigger is any inferior or ignorant person regardless of race you dumb fucking nigger.

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Gauntlets The Fighter
United States Gauntlets The Fighter

I've held mine in for a long time b4... so much so dat it almost forced its way out.  Da thing was da toilet where I was stayin was y I didn't shit in so long.

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dont bother officer h. hes a stupid ass  racist thats dating another racist that calls himself fuck dirty niggers. the two together doesnt have the sense that god gave a dog. and handsome devil you look like dracula, you dont really think you look handsome do you?

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dude from us
United States dude from us

OfficerHootch, you are licking your lips in the pic like you just sucked a dick, that is how the bitches lick their lips after slurping on my glorious cock.

Mary, you continue to show your trailer park vocab, sweetie this is your cut and paste "the two together doesnt have the sense that god gave a dog"
Here is the proper english for my Trailer Park Cock Suckers Mary and James
The two together dont have the sense that God has given to a dog.

Mary, Here is my recommendation go get your dick sucked by James and shove that big nose of yours into his ass. Good night sweet cheeks and God Bless

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Licking my lips? I was showing my tounge piercing. And I highly doubt any woman would want your 2 inch shaft you stupid nigger.

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downtownking
Canada downtownking

wheres fucks dirty niggers, haven't seen that peace of shit in awhile... kind of nice

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dude from us
United States dude from us

OfficerHootch, A tongue ring? LMFAO, You are a cock sucker. Little biatch, a tongue ring and proud of it? You might as well put your rainbow shirt on and tell Gauntlets you want to suck his dirty black dick!!! Bitches like you come and go on this site, enjoy your short, bitch ass stay tender nipples

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Since when does a tongue ring make you gay? You know what I dont get? You act like such a badass yet you don`t have the balls to show your picture you fucking pussy. Probably cause your an overweight sister fucking hic, huh?

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dude from us
United States dude from us

Gwillo? or OfficerHootch? You dont look too skinny, you look like a fucking tongue ring wearing, cock sucking dick head. Every normal, pussy eating dude knows tongue rings are for bitches. It fits you well biatch. Super gay, super, super gay. You might be able to arrange a threesome with the 2 dudes James and Big nosed Mary.

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Black women shit every 9 months. ^.^

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Hahaha your such a fucking dumbass nigger. You arent even smart enough to come up with anything new. You just repeat the same shit over and over. How about you stick a black dildo up your redneck ass and stfu.

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CaptainStagnetti
United States CaptainStagnetti

@Gwillo
DooFUS isn't a redneck by any means. Rednecks were farmers (mostly white) who WORKED on the fields during the hot days that the sun would burn the back of their necks. DooFUS is more of a hillbilly, confederate cowards who ran into the mountains to phuck their relatives after losing the Civil War

The More You Know...

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God didn't give sense to a dog. Dogs evolved from wolves and earlier canids, and were domesticated around 10,000 years ago.

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The top reason why most no life men cant shit because they ejaculated too much on the computer..

Fail

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OI Dude from US, want to have 1.72 pounds of hard log shoved 'into' your anus.
Bet a skinny little white prick like yourself rips out nicely =)
So come on over here sweet cheeks.. I won't bite. X

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so much racism over a picture of shit well i guess thats why its called thatsphucked.com Tong

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@ lindsay. Spot on shug

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dude from uk
United Kingdom dude from uk

i agree with my fellow companion, us. his views are all correct, unlike the invalid points bought up by the rednecks and tongue piercing gays.

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those look like some delicous chicken wings mmmmmmmmmmm

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