That's Phucked

Roses are red, violets are blue; it's been two months, where the hell are you?


Unfortunately, whatever happens in Vegas, doesn't stay in Vegas. I'm pregnant.


Wouldn't that be a fucked up email to have to send someone thousands of miles away in Europe? Good thing I don't have to... yet.

I haven't seen my period in two months; not since the Peter Hook shows.
Where could my period be? Most likely in Denmark!

Boyfriend:"That shit ain't mine."
Me: "It's not mine either.  It belongs to a guy in Denmark!"

I decided that if it is true, then I would send him a singing telegram in Copenhagen.
We proceeded to come up with the many ways this message could be delivered in a poetic, "roses are red" form:

Roses are red, violets are blue, a month ago I was screwed, and so are you!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've gotten bigger because I'm eating for two!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm having a baby and you are too!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Vegas sucks and so do you!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm pregnant.

I guess I could also send him a huge white box with a deep red sash ribbon tied in a bow with a box of See's Candies inside of it. And when he opens the See's Candies box, it will be empty with the exception of a child support court order. That would be both mean and hilarious, in exact Annik fashion. Maybe in lieu of the box of candy, I could just send him a half-Cambodian, half-Danish baby.

I actually doubt that I'm pregnant. These last few months have been pretty irregular for me, especially with losing a good deal of weight, changing my diet, and being stressed out. In addition, I'd be lactating at this point and I'm not... and I had X-rays done recently, which cannot be done if you're pregnant (which I was tested for as well).

I had a fun time thinking about the cruelly entertaining "I'm pregnant" scenarios though. I'll save these for the next time a guy forgets to pull out in time.

Anyway, remind me to never fuck another Euro-fag in Vegas again.

Comments (8) -

If hes a fag why did you fuck him? xD It's your fault too 50/50 no protection?


Hey I swear it wasnt me!

The singing telegram sounded funny though, if you ever decide to go through with it, I would gladly do it, the guys disturbed face will do just fine as a payment.


Damn, when I read that I thought you were pregnant until the ending of the article.

Annik pregnant?  Now that would be strange....


thats wut a fucking condom is for. duh!


What's with all these female staff whining and complaining about themselves like this is some sort of blog website?

Not to mention how much of a fucking whore you are.


Hi there thank for give us valuable information in your blog i hope you can provide more information like this in future. Thanks friends


Yep, that was about the time we were going to work with you, but you disappeared for a while.  Blamed it on school ;)  You got preggo like 3 times that year.  Good times.


Guys, Guys. Just do not spam. Otherwise I will have to do some moderation, which I hate.


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