That's Phucked

The 8 Signs You May Be Gay

If you are still confused after this.  You can try the Gay Test.

  1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
    It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the
    rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
  2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
    but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
    delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just
    think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass
    over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to
    daddy, snookums!" you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
  3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
    nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ
    ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.
    Anything else and you are in training and undeniably becoming a fag.
  4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
    parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
    bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
  5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will
    never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte
    to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
  6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
    different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be
    handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his
    brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you
    know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile
    other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
  7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
    tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
    slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that
    hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

Comments (12) -

Australia jaydenjayden.

that list is pretty funny, BUT you seem to take alot of effort into making that list, your obviously a homofobe! or a gayer your self!or just some dickhead who uses all that crap as an excuse to be a dumb ass!


United States not-so-gay-ass-bagger

yeah i agree, this list is pretty good but would be funny as hell if you removed the demeaning tone toward gays. i'm gay and think everything (i.e. "dying to tune the meat whistle", "free ass passes") is fucking hilarious, except the more homophobic comments. (i.e. "becoming a fag") again, the non-discriminatory phrases are beyond hilarious though. Smile and just for the record, according to the list, i registered as "not gay" by my mannerisms, although one of my favorite pasttimes is pounding the pooter-hole. i suggest perhaps... "elongating" the list (no word choice pun intended, of course) Tong


sound more like a redneck than a man


Gefallenen engel
United States Gefallenen engel

Well all I can say is it takes one to know one.....I find your list rather lame I don't find it funny at all....But I have to agree it does sound like a redneck (which means your about as smart as a chicken)and only an arrogant ass whole would put up such a retarded list as this one up....I mean really just because your not smart doesn't mean you have to pick on the real men out there(and don't think for one second that I'm a guy cause I'm not I was born and very happy to be a woman)


this doesnt sound like ANY straight person i know.
men should take care of themselfs,it doesnt mean there gay if they wish to do so
you sound very narrow minded,this is the shittest article ive read on this website.
thumbs downnnnnnnnnnnn


Bro do'nt listen to those gay guys some funny shit!!


The 8th sign. If you could make a list like this you're not just gay. You're the god of gays.


I'm guilty of no 2 and 4

cats are awesome and public toilets are nasty..


lol hillarious!
won't you make one for the ladies too?


I like cats (but don't have 1)
I don't drink coffee at all.
Am I gay ? ... oh phuck! forget I asked!


sorry, but this is not funny at all...
You are a gay man if you like guys and not girls... simple like that!


with a tethered boot, safari still won't open.. any ideas?


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