I'm not really sure how it happened.
Actually, I do know how it happened.
Surfer Guy and I were rolling on ecstasy one night and we got to talking about my kinks and fetishes list.
That I was a pretty cool list, but I meant to ask... I didn't see
anything on there about rimjobs... how do you feel about that?
Me: I'm down! Are you into anal play? On you, I mean?
SG: Well, sure... it's a definite erogenous zone, for sure.
forward to being naked in his bedroom, with a porn DVD playing on every
TV in his condo. I'm going down on him and I tell him to turn around
and bend over, to which he happily obliged. I planted my face in his
ass while jerking him off (also known as the rusty trombone), and I'm
thinking I had my face buried in his pooper for a good twenty minutes.
move up on the bed, and at some point or another (while I was on the
phone with a friend of mine, I think), I told him to finger me.
I felt one finger.
I was yapping away on the phone, I felt the airspace get a little too
tight (if you know what I mean), and I asked, 'Dude, how many fingers
do you have in there?'
SG: Uh. All of them.
Me: Whoa, really?
SG: Yeah. This is kind of cool. I have never had this many fingers in a girl.
was curious as to why he would stick his entire hand in my vagina. Then
I remembered a conversation we had a few weeks prior -- something along
the lines of, 'Got any lube? Let's see how many fingers you can fit in
I went back to yapping and at some point or another,
I handed the phone off to Surfer Guy so I could continue blowing him,
and then I hung up -- while going down on him.
SG: Why don't you stick a finger in there?
in porno-fashion, I hawked a volley of saliva into his back-door canal
and stuck a finger in there. Then I opened up the bottle of lube with
my one good hand and drizzled a little bit on the surface.
He went absolutely fucking crazy.
my ecstasy-crazed mind (we had taken 2.5 tabs, mind you), it seemed
logical that sticking another finger in there would make him go even
So I stuck a second one in there.
'OH MY GOD, THAT'S FUCKING AMAZING!' he exclaimed.
I decided to return the fisting favor.
I stuck a third one in there.
Then a fourth.
Then my thumb.
And I rocked my arm back and forth, gently, into his brown love canal. After a few minutes...
SG: How many fingers do you have in there??
Me: ...all of them.
SG: ...shut the fuck up.
Me: I swear!
I was wrist-deep in poopy -- literally and figuratively, but not quite literally.
SG: Holy shit.
SG: I have never had that many fingers in there. Wow.
Me: Yeah. I can't say I've had this many fingers in a guy.
After a few minutes, he made me stop as it was probably becoming uncomfortable for him.
He eventually brought out a strap-on, which I donned with glee. I told him to get on his knees and bend over.
SG: No. Lay down.
laid down and he climbed on top of me, while improving his erection by
hand. With his one good hand, he lubed his back side up... and started
riding me like a cowboy. In the midst of it, I thought it would be a
good idea to lift myself up off my hips. He went nuts.
hours later, our roll started to die down, so we smoked some of his
medical marijuana. At the time, it seemed like a good idea, ignoring
the actual fact that marijuana and I have never gotten along.
a few minutes, I was nearly brain-dead. And paranoid. With a large
dildo in my hand. Next thing I know, I'm banging him in the ass with it
as hard as I could, almost as if I left my keys in his ass and I was
trying to pry them out. Eventually, he had me stop.
SG: Oh my God. That was fucking intense.
Me: I uh, have no recollection of the last fifteen minutes.
hour later, he asked me if I had ever watched gay porn -- I said 'no,'
causing him to pull out his laptop to sign onto a gay porn website. I
watched him beat off to a porno clip of an old man ass-ramming an 18
year old boy, and fell asleep.
Ecstasy is a hell of a drug.